What a year it’s been. My husband and I had our biggest joy and our biggest sorrow in a few months time. 2013 will be the year I will fondly remember of my little one that surprised the living daylight out of my husband and I. It will be the year I became a mother and lost my child all at once.
It was also a year that I stepped out in faith and did things I thought I’d never do. Physically, mentally and spiritually one of the most challenging years of my life.
After a season of intense activity, I’ve finally been able to breathe and catch up with my thoughts. I’m still reflecting and processing. Relationships have changed, perspectives have changed, life has changed – I’ve changed.
I started a ‘new’ blog thinking I’d be able to share the random thoughts that come and go but then one day I was angry. I didn’t want to share. I didn’t want to blog. I thought that I was okay with our miscarriage, then I realized I wasn’t. I realized all I wanted to do was be quiet. And read. I read like crazy. I love to read period, but this was over-reading. And I followed another blog and her journey thru her own hell of miscarrying and heard her cries. All I could think was she’s saying it all for all of us. What can I contribute? I don’t need to say anything more.
Well, I’m back. It’s a new year, and although I’m not 100% happy with circumstances in our life right now, I’m content that things will work out. Again I’m still processing.
I’ve thought about the times I have stepped out in faith and what came as a result of it. Great joy. And when there is great joy there’s a possibility that there is great sadness, but it doesn’t have to end that way. It could continue with great joy – but I won’t know if I stay in the place of anger and grief.
So here’s to a new year. A year of new beginnings, healing, hope and progress. I’m not where I was yesterday and that’s a good thing. Let’s keep moving forward.
As a side note, for a really encouraging blog – look up Wildfire Fitness in Portland, OR. They are on Instagram, Facebook and the web. Seriously inspiring. Follow them!!